Fudanshi/Otaku/Awesome Boyfriend ; Flaky/Sleepy/Far away Boyfriend.

So, for the past 8 months or so, I've been in a long distance relationship with one of the most amazing people I've ever met (hereinafter referred to as W) 

I met him through my ex-non-boyfriend (henceforth referred to as ENB, for more details on why he's ENB and not just an EBF, refer to this entry as well as this one, slightly ludicrous, but you'll get a general feel for what happened), we only talked for a few times, before he had to take a leave from the internet due to health reasons.  This was when I was still with the ENB (or thought I was any way).  Then, a few moths after I broke it off with ENB, W recovered from his health issues, and reappeared on Skype one day. 

Long story short, we clicked.  We talked, we laughed, he healed me emotionally, and I was happy again, for the first time in a long time. (cue Avril Lavigne music)  

We had so much in common (interests, morals, sense of humour) , and, unlike the previous people I'd been with, he was honest, nonjudgmental, understanding and just... nice. 

By the end of the 3rd day or so, I really liked W, I didn't say anything, because all the signs showed that he wasn't interested (talking about trying to get a date, and wanting to find someone who was right for him), so I just tried to be there for him, reassured him that he'd find someone amazing and absolutely perfect for him in no time.  

Before the end of the 2nd week, W asked me out.   I was ecstatic, of course, but also extremely worried. He was, afterall, the ENB's friend first.  He was also really far away, and not only was I skeptical about LDR by then (past 2 exs and the ENB both ended really, really badly).  More importantly, I wasn't sure he was completely clear on what a LDR would entail (he'd met his a few of his exs online, but they were all within meeting distance).

Despite all my warnings, both about LDR and my personality flaws (including, but not limited to : possessiveness, jealousy, cleanliness, insecurity), he only said two things that a) "if that's my handicap for having someone as amazing as you as a gf, i wouldn't mind" (referring to the LDR) and that b) my flaws are "cute" and "just show that I care". So I suggested we go on a trial relationship, just to make sure we'd be ok with this whole situation.

And so our journey began.  

We skyped, called, texted whenever possible, laughed a lot, had a few arguments (I wouldnt' even classify them as that to be honest, it was mostly bantering),  and just had a great time in general.

What made me sure about this though, was when I had a break down, over my parents divorce.  I'd always thought that I'd be ok with it when it happened. Afterall, I'm 24, and I've been waiting for this to happen for over 12 years. But it all just got too much, and I called him.  He wasn't home, but rushed home so quick that he even got home before i did.  He talked to me, comforted me, reassured me and helped take my mind off things, in was I didn't think was possible. 

In the past, whenever I had a break down, no matter who I talked to, I'd only feel better for about 2 hours then felt like poop again.  But after talking to W, I calmed down completely. 

Our relationship is not perfect of course, far from it.

It got harder and harder to find time to talk, sometimes, it watered down to a text every week if that. His health has been really sporadic and kept getting sick, even got hospitalized a couple of times. A few other unfortunate things happened in both our families and it just made things really hard. Our original plans of meeting up over Christmas don't seem to be going anywhere. 

There were a few times where I thought about just giving up, that this was just wearing us both down, that maybe it's not worth it.

But every time I hear his voice, even if just for a minute or two, I just know we can work things out.

We still haven't technically made our relationship official, we talked about it, we decided to treat it as a real relationship even though our status is still pending.

No one knows if this will work out in the end  of course, but all I know is, we have to meet.  I have to be able to feel his physical presence to make sure that we're meant to be.  

Even if we don't work out in the end, the important thing is, I trust him, and I know we could still be friends.  

Because that's what he is to me, my best friend, first and foremost. 

To W: I feel many lesbians for you ♥. xxx 

And that's all for now

<3

Listening to : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2zjRUxPvic